i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he thought i was a dude.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
