people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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