Swine flu. Run for my life!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
