Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
