I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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