Quick, to the slutcave!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
