He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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