lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
