If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
