i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
