can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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