this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Omg I joined a choir last night...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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