we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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