Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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