So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
