It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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