I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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