Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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