The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want nice things and good sex
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
