Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
