Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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