You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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