we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
