Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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