My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
