And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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