I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
