I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
