oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
