dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
