matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
