I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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