LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
