I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize