I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
