I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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