For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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