omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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