I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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