it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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