So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
