naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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