I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
