Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
