man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
