You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need moral support for this bender
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize