You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
