did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
