I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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