To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
zippers are such a cool invention
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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