I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize