haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you still have your period?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
