At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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