I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
bring money and cleavage
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
