Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
