When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Boobs are out for the taking
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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