We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
