I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
