I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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