Are we in a gay sports bar?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my poor anus
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
