you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
