i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
