found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
