just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
